By now, you’ve been asked hundreds of times. He probably even asked many children when he met them. It’s a simple question. Straight. Of course. Concise… What do you want to be when you grow up? As an adult, a smile would probably come to your face if you were asked this ‘kid question’. But you know? Can you answer it?

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As an Air Force Officer for nearly six years and then as CEO for over twenty years, I have asked hundreds of subordinates this question. Okay, I can use more ‘adult’ language, like: where do you see yourself in 10 years? What is your ultimate job goal? Tell me about your professional plans. Now, what is your career path? No matter how it’s phrased, the question remains the same: what do you want to be when you grow up?

You’ll probably be surprised at the answer I most easily get: “I don’t know.”

So, I sharpened my pen, learned from my past, and developed a new comprehensive proof method to get to the bottom of this ever-important question. Once a new employee is on the job for a month or so, long enough to “get the hang of it” and start to get comfortable in his desk chair, I approach him in his environment. The conversation is usually brief; but friendly, non-confrontational and non-official feeling. After asking them about their day or their family, I say, “I’d like to set up a meeting with you to talk about your career goals and how I can help you achieve them. What’s your schedule like?”

A week later, when the clerk joins me in my office, I recite the script in my head that I have handed out many times. I try to personalize it. To make it sound original. Because, although for me it is a very watched repetition, it is usually a ‘first’ for them. Therefore, I carefully explain to them that I consider it my primary duty, as CEO, to help them achieve their goals. I give examples of the kind of side projects, special assignments, or big responsibilities I can assign to give you the experience you need to get one step closer to your goal. I describe the education, training, certifications, degrees or licenses that will make them ‘look’ more professional and build their resume of the future. After methodically laying it all out, I sit back, relaxed, deep in my flesh and use these specific words: So…what do you want to be when you grow up?

The answer does not come quickly; but, it arrives… usually, in most cases, most of the time, the overwhelming answer is… after a week to prepare and think about it, the employee presents his findings to the boss: ” No no I dont know”.

Waiting for this result; however, undeterred from my mission to always get the best out of every employee, I quietly tell them to “sit down and think about it. Let’s figure this out together.” A long silence permeates the air. For me, it becomes uncomfortable. Have you ever seen the face of another human being as he ponders his inner soul? The deepest recesses of who they are and who they want to be? I know that this is a crucial moment to which I must give my full attention; but, while I may have the biggest title in the room, I’m just decorating the window. They are somewhere else, deep in thought. It’s hard to give my full attention as I have nothing on the subject to contemplate. So I fake it until they’re ready to bring me back to their thoughts. I usually try to put on my best poker face to hide that I’m really thinking about other things on my to-do list… all this so I don’t break down first.

This is your moment. They must speak first. They must provide themselves with a meaningful decision that will guide them into the future. I’m just a sounding board. And, subsequently, a catalyst to help them reach their goal.

Make it personal. Do your thing.

An interesting story? Maybe. But what does this mean to you? Do you condemn this article to the pile of others on rock star weddings and Hollywood rehabs? Or do you take it as a reverse two by four? I would humbly recommend the latter.

You are not getting any younger. The time to decide, plan and act is now. As the old saying goes, “if you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.” So, will life take you on a meandering journey that loops back and forth with you as a mere pacifist bystander? Or, will you grab life by the throat, put it against the wall and make it very clear: you have professional goals, it is better that life does not stand in your way to achieve them? Once again, I would humbly recommend the latter.

Your mission, if you decide to accept it, is to decide first. Decide what you want to be when you grow up. dream big But, by the same token, keep your targets grounded. If you are past your prime, or well into your prime, a professional sports career may have already passed you by. Similarly, determine what you are willing to put up with and how long you are willing to wait. How many steps are you willing to take along the way? For example, if a cardiac surgeon is your heart’s desire, are you willing to finish your bachelor’s degree with highest honors, apply to numerous medical schools, move, spend your life in school, intern, residency, and scholarship – approximately a prospect of 10 years or more? If not, what would bring you a similar amount of pleasure or self-satisfaction? The first step is the most difficult. He decided. Find a quiet room or a scenic vantage point to spend some time with the hardest thing on this planet that you’ll ever try to solve: YOU!

The decision is the hardest part, but surely not the longest. In fact, it is the shortest. Once you have a goal, develop a plan to achieve it. Short being a marketing director is not enough. Do you have a degree in marketing? If not, get one. Have you worked in marketing? Beginning. What does your portfolio look like from past marketing campaigns? Don’t have any? Build it.

It really doesn’t matter what your career choice is, everyone has training, experiences, awards, milestones, and resume builders. Decide which one will look best on your resume and start piling them up. If you’ll excuse me, let me ask you, one last time: what do you want to be when you grow up? Also, her sister question: are you willing to do whatever it takes to get there?