“Children are an inheritance from the Lord, children a reward from him. As arrows in the hands of the warrior are the children born of youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.” (Psalm 127:3-5)

You may have heard this story before, if so, it bears repeating. One man worked very hard all his life. He finally got to heaven and an angel met him at the gate. The angel welcomed him and saw that the man was dragging a huge container. The angel said, “You won’t need that, sir.” “Oh, but I must have this. I’ve worked and worked my ass off all my life for this. I’ve invested everything in this. Please.” The angel was very curious about what a man could work so hard for, so the angel asked, “Okay. But, sir, can I see what is so precious to you?” The man opened the container to reveal that it was filled with gold. The angel looked puzzled and amazed, “Why have you worked so hard for that, sir? We paved our streets with that thing.” He had spent his days for nothing more than asphalt in the sky.

If a man gains the whole world and loses his son, what good is it to him? My five-year-old son, Kameron, has reached the ‘imitate dad’ stage. His godmother bought him a watch the other day and she was very proud of it. She wanted to take him to bed. “Dad, why don’t you wear your watch to bed?” I replied, “I don’t need to know what time it is and it’s a bit awkward.” So he took off his watch, went out into the living room, and put it on the coffee table next to my watch. I am on constant alert because he models himself after everything I do and say.

If a man gains the whole world and loses his daughter, what good is it to him? A bittersweet day for parents is the day you give your daughter to another man in marriage. The standard by which her daughter measures a man who is a candidate to be her husband will be based on the character of her father. She probably won’t like anything higher than her father. Parents must keep the standard high.

There are days when I have come home literally exhausted. Times in which I have longed for some time of solitude, a time of stillness and rest. I crawl to the door some nights and all I want to do is pass out, but I’m greeted at the door by an energetic five-year-old who’s been waiting all day for his dad to come home. He wants to chase, he wants to tickle and he wants to fight and he wants his dad’s attention more than anything. What’s a tired parent to do? He endures and fights because the time he spends with his precious son is more important than the rest for his body tired of him.

Parents can be thought of as a mirror, thermostat, and compass in the home.

1. The Father is a mirror for his children. Your child learns to like what you like. Your daughters especially will look in the mirror that is their father to see if it reflects any beauty or value in her. A father who belittles and degrades his children does irreparable damage to his self-esteem.

A father must realize that he is like a god to his children. His ultimate purpose is to portray the image of God to his family. He introduces God through his own character. His children adore the ground he walks on. I remember being a little kid in elementary school bragging to my friends about how strong and smart my dad was. I had the best dad in the world and I wanted everyone to know it. So when a father uses words that embarrass a son, the son believes each word as gospel truth. If you tell him it’s worthless, he won’t question you. In education we call it a self-fulfilling prophecy. Tell a child that he can’t succeed and he won’t. Tell a child that he is a failure and he will probably become a failure.

Lutzer tells of a father who told his adopted son in a moment of anger, “You are nothing. You are the result of a one-night stand.” That father didn’t murder his son, but he could have done worse. He destroyed the soul within him. He stomped on and crushed the boy’s sense of self-worth and that he may never recover from those words.

2. A Father is a thermostat in his house. He sets the tone for the atmosphere within the home. His anger or his bad mood is contagious. His joy and humor is like a healing balm in difficult times. He sets the parameters for how family members talk to and treat each other.

3. A Father is the compass of the home. If church isn’t important to dad, it won’t be important to the kids. If the children never see Dad reading his Bible, they are not likely to read his Bible. If dad treats mom with disrespect, the kids will treat her the same way. Ladies who are dating and expecting to get married, do you want to know how she will treat you after you get married? A strong indicator is how he treats his mother or how his father treats her mother.

A parent who comes home every weekend and lies on the couch watching TV and eating chips and drinking beer often wonders why their children aren’t hard-working. “Why are my kids so lazy?” It’s because he sets the tone. When he runs with his friends, he curses like a sailor and then punches his nine-year-old son when he swears. The kid is just trying to be like his dad, his dad is like a god to him. Why are they punishing him for wanting to be like his dad?

Parents are often disappointed thinking that the most important thing in life is to earn another dollar, get a bigger house or a better car. It is wonderful if a father can provide the best for his family, but neither he nor his family will take any of it with them to the next life. As parents, we must learn and emphasize the three R’s: earn the respect of your children and wife, develop a relationship with family and God, and demonstrate a religion that will prove itself when times get tough because nothing is more important than the souls of our children.