There is a widespread belief that if you want something done right, you and only you must do it. This feeds into the romantic notion that a person can overcome the noise and build success with just their two hands. The idea is that we are lone travelers, overcoming obstacles with our own wits and willpower alone. And to this I say… what a waste of effort and time. I don’t know about you, but I’m getting help!

Nobody becomes a success without help. Nobody.

Think of all the successes you know in your life. Then look at the existing support system that helps in that success. It may not be obvious to some, but everyone is helped somewhere, in some way. A great basketball player like Michael Jordan didn’t win championships until Scottie Pippen, Dennis Rodman and Horace Grant came along. You should seek help too. Negative thinking says that you can’t do everything. It doesn’t say you can’t do anything; rather it brings a little reality into each situation. Learning to ask for help is one of the biggest steps toward success you can take.

But how to ask for help? It is not something we do easily, admit our shortcomings. If you can get past that ego-driven nonsense and see what your needs really are, asking for help can be a breeze.

Ask others if they need help. You have to give to receive. The old saying “you have to spend money to make money” also works with help. You have to be useful, if you want people to return the favor. So ask people if you can help them. Make sure the help you offer is something you can help with; otherwise, you could aggravate the problem. If you can’t help that person, refer them to someone who can. Ironically, that alone is very helpful!

Be clear about what you need. This is the hard part. You need to explain to the person willing to help you exactly what you need. Even if you don’t know what you need, at least tell them the result you want. By clearly defining their results, they can get to the heart of the matter, saving time and frustration. Sometimes explaining what you are doing now will allow your helper to see the problems that are standing in the way of your success. It’s like the plumber asking what you put in the disposal that caused the clog. This way he knows what tools he needs to fix it.

be thankful I can’t say this enough. If someone goes out of their way to help, thank them. Show your gratitude. People are more likely to help you again if you reward them with a sincere “thank you” or appreciation.

Asking for help is not a weakness. It is the sign of a person who is confident, understands what needs to be done, and yet also understands his own limitations. It shows that you value the opinions and experience of others. It also shows you that you know how to do things… even if you’re not the one who knows how to do those things yourself.

It is a harsh and sometimes unforgiving world. Stubbornly trying to carry on on your own is not a sign of strength. It is not a sign of superior intellect. It’s just ego. Ego isn’t a bad thing, but if you’re going to sabotage yourself simply because you’re trying to be the person with “the answer,” that tough world is going to get a lot harder. However, if you’re willing to ask for and accept help, the world isn’t much of a problem.