I think I can hold conversations with God. In my dreams, he hears my prayers. His sweet words answer my questions.

I asked God why he allowed terrible things like natural disasters to kill so many innocent people. He responded to me as follows.

“Because you don’t understand, I forgive you.”

I don’t understand, my God, please forgive me.

God replied, “I know you don’t understand. I see your fears. I know your prayers. I am always with you, but why do you doubt me?”

I doubt you because I don’t understand? When will I start to see the light?

God smiled. A flash of resplendent glory crossed the horizon and said: “Be in good faith. You must believe, then you will begin to understand.”

I find it hard to believe what I can’t see or understand, dear God.

God said, “If you have enough faith, you will learn to understand. And if you have enough faith, you will recognize my glory that is within you.”

With this last pronouncement, a warm glow of pure joy seemed to fill every fiber of my being and I said, “Thank you dear God.”

And God said, “Do not be afraid for I am always with you. I have given you the ability to think independently. Use this gift wisely.”

Thank you God, but how can I use your gift wisely if I don’t understand?

God replied, “If you have enough faith, you will begin to understand. If you have enough faith, anything is possible. Why do you question me?”

I have so many questions dear God. When will I start to know the answers?

“When you are ready, when you have evolved into the thinking human being that I wanted you to be,” God answered.

I feel like I have been willing to believe in you all my life dear God.

God said: So where is your faith? Why do you ask me, who have created you?

I don’t have the answer dear God; all I have are more questions.

God said, “If you still ask me, then you don’t have enough faith in yourself. Because I have made you in my image.”

At this point I felt like the whole world was shaking and shaking. I asked God if he was mad at me.

God said, I’m not angry, I share your pain, I share your dreams, I know your frustrations, why do you still question me?

Dear God, I don’t know why I’m so insecure. I only know that I want with all my heart to believe in you.

God chuckled and the entire night sky seemed to light up with his joy. He said, “You will, because I think you are becoming a good and worthwhile person.”

I told God that I had a hard time believing that God had faith in me considering all the weaknesses of spirit that I suffered.

God said, “You have a right to be a Person of faith because I created you in my own image, just as all these seemingly random acts of nature are part of my grand design for the evolution of your world for the greater good. Question not my intention.

With this, a feeling of pure happiness washed over me. I felt a sense of contentment and peace of mind that I had never known before. All I could do was whisper, “thank you dear God.”

God reached around me and said, “Why did it take you so long to find my grace? Why did you have to fight with yourself to become a person of faith?”

I guess even God has questions when it comes to dealing with his own creation.

God must have heard me because he said, “It’s all part of my grand design. As you begin to evolve into the thinking human being I created you to be, you will begin to understand. Tell all your friends who question their faith that everyone they are part of my creation.

I didn’t want to tell God that I still didn’t understand why bad things happen to innocent people, so I decided to take his pronouncement as correct on faith. He must have heard my thoughts because he said:

“Now that you’re starting to get the message, spread the word.”

*****

© Copyright Arthur Levine 2006