Once upon a time, luckily I don’t bear, women were considered property. Marriage contracts used to be a financial transaction. Before marriage there was much negotiation to establish the price of the bride, and the poor woman was the pawn of everything. They had few options as to who they would marry. “Love is for the poor because they don’t care if they starve, because they already are,” was the belief.

When they were brought to the altar, they seemed so tame. The truth is that some are often drugged so that they do not escape. The practice of veiling was adopted as a way for the groom not to see the bride’s tears. The women would have to say out loud that they would love, honor and OBEY the man who was now her husband and that was it.

Thanks to the liberation of women, this is no longer the case. The ladies can choose their partners, either for profit or for love; maybe even both. They are considered equal partners of the men they will marry and as such the vows have been changed to love, honor and cherish.

Of course, you don’t need to use those votes either. You can make your vows completely personal and from the heart. It can make your wedding more memorable for both of you. Just check with your officiant first if you can go ahead and do this, some can be very strict and insist on basic vows (rare though).