It is an unfortunate situation that some elderly caregivers, especially family members who provide daily services to their sick mothers / fathers, are suffering in silence while enduring mental or psychological abuse from their elders who have become selfish, controlling and manipulative. to get what they want when they want it.

Some older people tend to become more self-centered and narcissistic as they age. This is understandable considering that older people know that death may be imminent, they most likely have lost some mobility and / or use of other senses, and they feel that control of their lives is slipping away from them every day. more. However, this does not give them the right to abuse or manipulate family members who are trying to support them and protect them from harm.

These are some of the abuses to which the involuntary caregiver can be subjected:

Unreasonable expectations

An elderly caregiver in her 70s caring for her older sister who wanted to stay in her own home until she died, was told that no one else could enter the home to help with care tasks that were becoming more and more demanding. There was no room for discussion, no consideration for the poor health of this elderly Florence Nightingale, who had not only put her own life on hold, but had also moved in and was living in her sister’s home to help her. Consequently, the only option left was to put this woman in a nursing home until she passed away.

Be treated like a servant

Some seniors feel entitled to get what they want at any time. This kind of unrealistic demand can be the last straw for a person who is already providing essential medical and non-medical care, especially if it is 24 hours a day.

Lies, manipulation and sabotage

Unfortunately, older people sometimes lie to their family, friends, health professionals, and social service workers about the care they receive at home. This can cause devastating results and permanently fracture relationships, especially if Social Services are contacted by well-meaning (or not-so-well-intentioned) people who take this information at face value and don’t bother to get input or more information from staff. primary. carer.

Manipulation is another powerful psychological weapon that the elderly can and do use. There are those who have perfected their manipulative ways, playing perfectly as martyrs and victims, to receive the maximum attention, sympathy and mercy they desire.

The best plan of care can be sabotaged by an uncooperative elder who will not take into account the needs and limitations of an elderly caregiver. Injecting other family members or external friends into the mix can only add to the confusion and frustration.

Playing the blame card

No matter the quality of care provided, there are older people who simply cannot be satisfied and will try to blame their children for doing everything for them. It is essential for the well-being of the elderly person in need of care that they remain as active as possible.

Caregivers of the elderly should be aware of these potential dangers. While it may be necessary to provide a safe and secure environment for elderly loved ones, this does not mean that physical, mental, spiritual and psychological needs must be sacrificed.