So do you want to be a movie critic and get paid to watch movies, eat popcorn and be as opinionated as you want? It might interest you to know that you may need to broaden your work experience by working two or more jobs (it doesn’t pay that well) and toughen your skin against ruthless criticism from others. Still, there’s nothing better than a job that involves being in the same room as Angelina Jolie or John Cusack and then striking up a conversation with them.

An important assumption most aspiring film critics make is that no formal training is required. All you need is an opinion and the ability to express it. This also serves to increase your attractiveness.

The theory turned out to be true for Dan Kimmel, who started life as a law student and later went on to write articles and movie reviews. These days, he is a successful columnist for a variety of print media, but still finds it necessary to supplement his income with teaching and speaking. This proves that while the pen is mightier than the sword, it pales in comparison to the checkbook.

Fellow critic John Black followed a more traditional journalistic route to his career as The Metro’s “Movie Guy.” Black started out at a small weekly newspaper and had to work his way up to becoming a paid movie buff. However, he also bemoans the lack of compensation, saying that most freelancers (and most film critics are freelancers) earn less than $1 per word.

To make a lot of money you need to be a really famous critic, like Roger Ebert. But to reach that level you have to be able to single-handedly make or break a movie with your opinion. That kind of clout doesn’t come from just writing some random thoughts about plot holes and dialogue. You really need to understand the intricacies of movie making, such as the intricacies of lighting, set decoration, editing, and cinematography, and how they all impact the overall movie experience.

It also helps if you can tell people what a gaffer does. I keep picturing a skinny old man in a golfer’s cap and vintage knee-length golf pants, whose only job is to jovially greet visitors to the set. I am quite obviously wrong. A gaffer is the head of the electrical department in a movie. Responsibilities include designing and executing the lighting plan for the film. It comes from the British term for an old man (I just got it wrong for the most part), particularly those who were in charge of lighting in theaters or who tended the lampposts. The “hook” was a stick with a hook at the end that helped them to fulfill their functions.

To get on the path to becoming a professional film critic, you need to do a little research and that doesn’t just mean watching a lot of movies, but you do too. You have to read books on how to make movies, as well as write professional reviews. After all, not everything is a matter of opinion. You may hate a movie, but you have to be able to explain why. A reasonable amount of diplomacy and tact is required, as “It Sucked” is not enough.

Eloquence and consistency are vital components of any critique. Your review should give readers an idea of ​​why you felt a certain way about a certain movie, and should be clear enough for them to make an informed decision about whether or not to watch it.

One of the most important aspects of jobs is accepting that you’re not going to like most of the movies you see. Kimmel constantly reminds himself of “Sturgeon’s Law”, which hypothesizes that 90% of everything is garbage. Black clings to the belief that all teen comedies that are based on toilet humor are balanced by independent film festivals showcasing original ideas, from artists not yet sold to Hollywood.

Another hidden downside to this dream job is that by placing your opinion in the public domain, you in turn invite criticism of yourself. And people can be unpleasant. “I had to wonder if you weren’t having this hissing fit while wearing your official Star Trek uniform.” -was just one of the comments in response to Black’s review of the movie, The Perfect Storm, that he didn’t like.

If you think your skin is thick enough to withstand abuse like that, if you have an unerring ability to sway people with your persuasive prose, and if you enjoy spending time in the dark, then perhaps this is the job for you. If not, get your pen ready anyway: there are some film critics with bad opinions just asking to be vilified.

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