In your married life, there are probably very few times when you are observing your husband’s behavior such as when he tells you that he wants a divorce (and then seems to doubt this). This can be especially true if you are still invested in your marriage. It would be one thing if he announced the divorce, filed for it, and then moved out so that her intentions were crystal clear. But this is not always the case. Some husbands make the announcement, do nothing, or even seem to change their minds. This leaves the wife very confused about what her husband is thinking about her, what might happen in the future, and how she should respond in the future.

She might explain, “Three months ago, my husband told me he wanted a divorce. I had no doubts about his sincerity. We’ve been unhappy for quite some time (although I really hoped we could work things out). However, I was hoping it would take a while.” relatively slow pace because our finances are so complicated right now. I honestly think our finances are one of the reasons it took her so long to decide on a divorce. Having two houses to maintain is going to be hard. So, I honestly didn’t expect him to move right away. And he didn’t. Basically, I tried to get along with him the best I could and just waited for the day when he told me he was moving out or when he presented me with the papers of divorce. Last week, my mother very unexpectedly invited me to go on an international trip next year. She said it was her gift to me. She also invited my husband. Even though I didn’t tell her about the divorce in At that time, I assumed that she would go alone. I gave this to my husband, he acted excited about the trip. I told her that I figured we’d both be divorced by then, so she wouldn’t be coming with me. Her response was ‘oh, I’ve changed my mind about divorce. Why do you think I haven’t mentioned it in months? I am shocked. I thought you hadn’t mentioned it for reasons of money. I had no idea that he had changed his mind and I’m a little unsure about this. Why does a man suddenly not want to get divorced anymore?”

The person best prepared to explain her husband’s reasoning is her own husband. But if he’s unwilling or unable to explain, I certainly have a few theories, which I’ll discuss below.

You may have realized that a divorce will not solve your problems.: When you are dealing with a high level of stress or a crisis situation, you can sometimes fantasize that a divorce will be just what you need to escape the harsh reality of your life. You might tell yourself that if you can get rid of your tired old marriage that is holding you back, then you might finally be free to start a new and better life.

But then, the reality of life hits you. Most of the time, as soon as someone goes and looks at the apartments or talks to a divorce lawyer, it all becomes very real. And the person seeking a divorce may realize that divorcing their spouse is not going to fix what is missing in their life or what is broken inside.

In this particular case, your husband may have realized that a divorce would only add to the financial stress in your life instead of alleviating it. She may have realized that marriage can actually be a release from financial stress rather than the cause of it.

You may have seen positive and encouraging changes: The wife mentioned that during the last three months she had made a conscious effort to get along with her husband in a more positive way. This may have meant a lot to her husband, and he may be encouraged to see that, with a little effort, they can interact in a new and more enjoyable way. Sometimes that’s all it takes. Often, a husband wants a divorce only when he begins to believe that things will never change. When he sees that he may, in fact, have been wrong about it, then he is willing to change his mind about the divorce.

You may have been blowing smoke about the divorce all along: Some husbands bring up the D-word because they know it’s going to have the biggest impact and will be the most likely to get your attention. Deep down, they don’t really want a divorce, even if they themselves don’t even realize it at the time. So when you give them what they want, more attention to whatever problem they are trying to solve, then there is no reason to fume about the divorce anymore.