The last time I bought a new car was in 1993 and it was the most basic of vehicles; at Ford Festiva. It was inexpensive, relatively comfortable on all but the longest trips, and reliable and easy to maintain; there wasn’t much to break. I later inherited a 1998 Subaru Legacy Outback Limited. It’s not a car that I would have bought myself, but it’s very safe, very solid, and I can get it off the road if I ever wake up one morning and decide to lose my mind.

Even though the Subaru is still in very good condition, lately I have been thinking about buying a new car (the wisdom of making such a large purchase in the current economic crisis is the subject of another column …), so I skimmed a few motoring magazines to do some research.

Boy, was I surprised.

The last time I bought a car, the options were pretty basic. Automatic vs. manual transmission, power steering, brakes, 2-door or 4-door, and of course the inevitable cassette or 8-track conundrum. Now the list of optional extras available on some cars reads like an inventory list at Best Buy. Lists included pop-up touchscreens with real-time traffic reports, iPod / MP3 / Bluetooth connectivity, rear bumper cameras to assist with navigation, telephone wiring and antenna, flip-up roof TV screens, rearview mirrors with screens Built-in LCD, andonandon.

Now these are all good toys to play with, but the question is: what do they have to do with driving? Do I really need to spend money on a sat nav when I can read a map or print a MapQuest route planner? The folding television screen; Honestly, does the average family spend so much time in the car that a television and DVD player are essential to maintaining domestic harmony? Rear bumper cameras and rearview mirror LCDs could just be removed, oh, I don’t know … look back? IPod / MP3 / Bluetooth ports; I suppose it can be useful if you are a passenger trying to drown out the nonsense the driver says, but other than that what is its functionality? I can see a use for cell phone pre-wiring and antenna, but people talking on the phone while driving annoy me, which is why it is mentioned here.

I guess I’m a bit old-fashioned, but I enjoy driving for the fun of it. If I want to work, I go to the office or open the laptop at home. If I want to see a movie, I sit on the couch and watch it. If I want to de-stress in the car, I turn on the stereo or CD player that is already in the car that I have without any optional gadgets that require plugging in more doo-dads, and if I need to see what’s behind me, Look.

So more toys improve driving? I do not believe it. Argue amongst yourselves, but first pull over to the side of the road, please.