Although some men can form healthy relationships with women, there are others who cannot. There are, of course, a number of reasons why this is so.
For those who can’t, it may be because they lack confidence or are emotionally disconnected. On the other hand, it may be because they are afraid of intimacy and don’t feel comfortable approaching a woman.
Another reason
Alternatively, it may be due to the fact that they are too close to their mothers. As a result of how close they are to this person, it will not be possible for them to form an emotional connection with a woman.
When a man experiences life this way, approaching a woman probably feels wrong. What should feel normal will later feel abnormal, preventing you from forming a healthy relationship with a woman.
Two parts
Sharing your body and even your mind with a woman will not be a problem; what will be a problem is to share her heart. The unhealthy emotional bond she has formed with her mother will sabotage her life.
Still, this does not mean that a man like this is capable of breaking this attachment and moving on with his life. Even if he wanted to, it could take many, many years of serious therapy before this happens.
It’s not a surprise
However, as this attachment would have formed during his formative years, a time when he was incredibly vulnerable and powerless, this is to be expected. There would have been nothing you could have done during this phase of your life to protect yourself and end what led to this unhealthy attachment.
In order to move forward, there will be beliefs that were formed during this time that will need to be brought to light and challenged, emotional pain and trauma that will need to be overcome, and as all of this happens, man will gradually be able to develop boundaries and form a sense of self. itself. Ultimately, man would not have received what he needed to be able to develop in the right way, so a lot of rebuilding work will have to be done.
Very confusing
After a man realizes that he is too close to his mother, he may wonder why this attachment developed. He could think that his mother was only supposed to give him what he needed to develop, not to make him his mate.
What is clear is that his mother most likely was not able to see him as an individual. Instead, she would probably have seen him as someone who was there to take care of her own needs.
Changing roles
Therefore, his mother would not have been able to be there for him during this incredibly important time in his life. His needs would have been seen as far more important than the needs of his child.
As a child, the man would have had to disconnect from his own needs and do what he could to meet his mother’s needs. This would not have been something he consciously chose to do, it would simply have happened for him to survive.
going deeper
Now this could prove that his mother was single at this stage of her life, this being the reason why she expected so much from him. At the same time, this could have been a time when she was in a relationship with her father or another man of hers.
Regardless of whether there was another man around at this time or not, there is a chance that she had trouble forming intimate relationships. Ergo, unable to form healthy bonds, he ended up using her son to meet some of her unmet needs.
an unconscious process
This is not to say that she was aware of what she was doing, as this probably happened without her even being aware of what was going on. Still, opening up to another adult wouldn’t have felt comfortable, so she looked to her son to do some of the things another adult should have done.
Since her son was completely dependent on her and powerless, she would have been able to stay in control and keep her own fears at bay. She wouldn’t have had to worry about him getting too close or too far from her, and if he tried to get away from her, she could have used her fear and guilt to keep him close to her.
even deeper
The reason you had trouble forming a healthy relationship with another man may be due to the fact that you had been in a number of dysfunctional relationships. Opening up to a man then would have felt like too great a risk.
However, it could go much deeper than this, as her own father (or mother) may have used her in the same way that she used her son. This would have been a time in her life where she experienced emotional incest, causing her to disconnect from herself and form an unhealthy emotional bond with this caregiver in the process.
From one generation to another
As is the case with her son, this early experience would have conditioned her to believe that it was wrong for her to enter into a relationship with another man. Therefore, the only way for her to remain loyal to this caretaker would have been to prevent this from happening.
For whatever reason, she wouldn’t have realized this and gone out of her way to make sure she didn’t treat her son the same way. Thanks to this, history will have repeated itself.
Awareness
If the man told all this to his mother, that is, if she is still present, he could deny it. This may illustrate that he just can’t remember what happened or that he has at least one personality disorder.
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Either way, the priority will be for the man to do what he has to do to emotionally break with his mother and live his own life. The assistance of a therapist, healer, and/or support group will likely be needed.