Long before changing careers and starting working from home, he was a family counselor in the chemical dependency field. We worked with patients and their families to identify dysfunctional family patterns that kept them stuck.
One of the things we learned is that families developed certain roles that they played within the family and then inadvertently carried those roles into the rest of their lives.
With each new family that entered, one of the roles that I was most interested in identifying in our new group was the lost Boy, because that was the role that I played most often in my own family.
The lost child is the one most likely to be overlooked in the family. On a trip, if they stop to go to the bathroom, this is the child they will forget. Lost children are quiet, withdrawing their energy because they think they will be safer if they don’t realize it. Unfortunately, they often become so good at being invisible that they continue to do so unconsciously, even after they have left home and become adults.
“Because they are so often overlooked, they feel lonely, depressed and rejected. They often have a hard time connecting with others and prefer to be alone … to be able to help them.” -The Family and Addiction Center, Brooklyn, NY
Were you a lost child? Are you still hiding as an adult?
This article is the fifth in a series on healing life lessons, called “How to get out of your own way.” Although you won’t know for sure what your life lessons are without having your hands read, you can see if this problem is familiar to you and seek healing if it is.
Through manual analysis, we can examine your fingerprints to determine both your life purpose and your life lessons. Life lessons are the challenges you must overcome to fully inhabit and live your life purpose. Here you have been wounded in the realm of being visible and letting your light shine in the world. This life lesson is about boredom, apathy, and blocked creativity, sometimes to the point where you deny you have it.
There may also be a feeling of not fitting in, of not belonging. Healing those wounds would mean breaking the fear that binds you, finding your voice and entering your center of attention. To heal what blocks your self-expression so that you can expose yourself in a way that fits your life purpose.
Here are some journal questions to ponder …
– Is the description of this problem familiar to you?
– What are some of the experiences of lost children that you had that are examples of this life lesson?
– If you had not played the role of the lost child, how could your life be different?
– What are some memories from your past where the story could have been different if you hadn’t played this role? Rewrite those stories, giving them the ending you think they would have had.
– How is your life today still affected by this problem?
– Describe how your life would change if you could stop playing this role.
Now that you are more aware of how this problem has been challenging in your life, the next step is to find the memories and beliefs connected to it that need to be healed. Then you can find and choose a healing technique that suits your needs.